{"id":4789,"date":"2022-07-15T16:50:34","date_gmt":"2022-07-15T16:50:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lutheranmetro.org\/?page_id=4789"},"modified":"2022-09-28T18:33:49","modified_gmt":"2022-09-28T22:33:49","slug":"james-walker","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/www.lutheranmetro.org\/what-we-do\/programs\/housing-and-shelter\/portraits-of-strength\/james-walker\/","title":{"rendered":"James Walker"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-page\" data-elementor-id=\"4789\" class=\"elementor elementor-4789\" data-elementor-post-type=\"page\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"has_eae_slider elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-7773ef9c elementor-section-height-min-height elementor-section-stretched elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-items-middle\" data-id=\"7773ef9c\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;stretch_section&quot;:&quot;section-stretched&quot;,&quot;background_background&quot;:&quot;classic&quot;,&quot;jet_parallax_layout_list&quot;:[]}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-background-overlay\"><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"has_eae_slider elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-1ae092c0\" data-id=\"1ae092c0\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4c1cf7d7 elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"4c1cf7d7\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.21.0 - 18-04-2024 *\/\n.elementor-heading-title{padding:0;margin:0;line-height:1}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title[class*=elementor-size-]>a{color:inherit;font-size:inherit;line-height:inherit}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-small{font-size:15px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-medium{font-size:19px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-large{font-size:29px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-xl{font-size:39px}.elementor-widget-heading .elementor-heading-title.elementor-size-xxl{font-size:59px}<\/style><h1 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">James Walker<\/h1>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<section class=\"has_eae_slider elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-1765be2a elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"1765be2a\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;jet_parallax_layout_list&quot;:[]}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"has_eae_slider elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-3600e6e1\" data-id=\"3600e6e1\" data-element_type=\"column\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c4a7897 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"c4a7897\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.21.0 - 18-04-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-image{text-align:center}.elementor-widget-image a{display:inline-block}.elementor-widget-image a img[src$=\".svg\"]{width:48px}.elementor-widget-image img{vertical-align:middle;display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"768\" height=\"514\" src=\"https:\/\/www.lutheranmetro.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/James-Walker-photo-1-1280x856-1-768x514.jpg\" class=\"attachment-medium_large size-medium_large wp-image-4791\" alt=\"james walker\" srcset=\"https:\/\/www.lutheranmetro.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/James-Walker-photo-1-1280x856-1-768x514.jpg 768w, https:\/\/www.lutheranmetro.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/James-Walker-photo-1-1280x856-1-300x201.jpg 300w, https:\/\/www.lutheranmetro.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/James-Walker-photo-1-1280x856-1-1024x685.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/www.lutheranmetro.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/07\/James-Walker-photo-1-1280x856-1.jpg 1280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 768px) 100vw, 768px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-57e84a33 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"57e84a33\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<style>\/*! elementor - v3.21.0 - 18-04-2024 *\/\n.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-stacked .elementor-drop-cap{background-color:#69727d;color:#fff}.elementor-widget-text-editor.elementor-drop-cap-view-framed .elementor-drop-cap{color:#69727d;border:3px solid;background-color:transparent}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap{margin-top:8px}.elementor-widget-text-editor:not(.elementor-drop-cap-view-default) .elementor-drop-cap-letter{width:1em;height:1em}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap{float:left;text-align:center;line-height:1;font-size:50px}.elementor-widget-text-editor .elementor-drop-cap-letter{display:inline-block}<\/style>\t\t\t\t<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">James talks about his coffee \u201cWild Mountain Blueberry.\u201d He chuckles, \u201cgot to see what this Blueberry Coffee is like.\u201d James is enjoying life, it seems to me, in all its small and large ways. He says \u201cI am grateful,\u201d more than a few times. James seems at peace, how he speaks about living a meaningful life now, having come through many years in prison.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">The evenness in his voice relaxes the listener. Prior to James becoming Projects Coordinator at the shelter, I\u2019d hear James using this same voice in Independence dorm where he was the Facilitator. It\u2019s a coach\u2019s voice, saying \u201cHere\u2019s what to expect; here\u2019s steps you can take.\u201d On his office door is a \u201cRoad to Success\u201d illustration. It shows a squiggly line all over the page before reaching its goal. Not the upper trajectory of success that few of us have. He adds, \u201cNow what are we going to do, going forward?\u201d<\/span><\/p><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">James gets down to business:<\/span><\/i><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019m not quick to talk about my past. I understand my story involves difficult aspects that can become distractions for people. You see, I committed a very serious crime and someone lost their life. I was gone for 30 years.<\/span><\/p><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cGone,\u201d I repeat<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Yes, the word is very appropriate.<\/span><\/p><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Explain that.<\/span><\/i><\/p><h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Gone is gone.<\/span><\/h3><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You are just out of this world as most people know and in a different world. When I went away, I didn\u2019t know how long I was going to be gone because I was serving a life sentence. My original sentence was a death sentence. These are not things you volunteer to tell people!\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What was it like?<\/span><\/i><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">In prison, I\u2019m viewed as \u201cother\u201d by the larger society. The sense of otherness is constantly reinforced throughout the prison system. You come in, you are less than. You\u2019re a number. You\u2019re just one of those people who have excluded themselves from civil society because of your criminal nature. I went into the system with a college background, but in prison the assumption is you didn\u2019t even finish high school, so I find myself in a system not set up to receive me for who I am and the onus is upon me to be functional in spite of it.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That\u2019s the othering of the prison system on the one hand. On the other hand, there\u2019s the ugliness on the human level. The worst thing about the environment is the noise. Noise, as in physical noise, and just ugly conversations. Imagine people confined in that world for years and years.<\/span><\/p><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I can\u2019t imagine.<\/span><\/i><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s no wonder so many people are undone and ultimately destroyed by it. We sentence people to prison, but do we want people to just rot? Decay and devolve into an inhuman, uncivilized drone? Then, reentering society, you run up against the otherness on the outside &#8211; it\u2019s a wonder anyone survives.<\/span><\/p><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">James reflects<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">, this is what LMM\u2019s Community Reentry brought to light &#8211; when people first started talking about reentry at the federal level. They alerted society to what happens when people come back into the larger community. IF it\u2019s about public safety, IF it\u2019s about quality of life and turning people around, this is a concern. I\u2019ve been fortunate. I\u2019m blessed and I know it. I came out of prison, and I was one inch away from being homeless.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dark Eyes<\/span><\/h3><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Early in my stay in prison my brother came to see me with his girlfriend. She was an artist and did my portrait in the visiting room. When she finished, she showed me the drawing. The thing that jumped off the page was the way she had done my eyes, right? They were very dark. I asked her why she did my eyes like that. She said, \u201cThat\u2019s what I saw.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I left the visiting room, went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. I saw it. Mind you, this was within a couple of years of going in. I was like, \u201cWow, it\u2019s happening already.\u201d I had resolved not to be like the older guys who had done a lot of time- they all had those dark eyes, they just seemed to be so hard. I made a conscious decision I wasn\u2019t going to let that happen, but it did.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When you got out, what helped you most? What hindered you most?<\/span><\/i><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I was denied countless jobs that supposedly invite people to apply from the criminal justice system. The interview process went well but then I wouldn\u2019t get the call back. This can really break a person down.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A standout moment for me is when I responded to an ad for a pizza delivery driver. I\u2019d finished college in prison, right? And as a college graduate, I\u2019m hoping for this pizza delivery job, right? The lady in the store said, \u201cOkay, I\u2019m going to hire you. But I\u2019m sending you to our office in Middleburg Heights to complete some stuff.\u201d So, I drove down I71 to Middleburg Heights corporate office. The lady asked me for my ID. She walked around the corner and <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">60 seconds later<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> she walked back around the corner and handed me my ID.<\/span><\/p><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">James is laughing now.<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> She told me \u201cI can\u2019t use you.\u201d That was the culmination of a lot of denial, right? A lot of denials by the system that continued to \u201cother\u201d me and my own denial. I remember driving back up I71. I was livid. By nature, I\u2019m an optimist, but this was like a capstone for me. Up to that point, I\u2019d been reaching out for any and everything. After that I told myself, \u2018I will never do this again, putting myself in a position to drive 20 minutes down the road as a college graduate to be denied a pizza delivery job.\u2019\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">After this incident, I see the reality that this reentry thing is a whole lot more complicated than I thought. I really had to get creative about this. I almost didn\u2019t make it.<\/span><\/p><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What helped you most?\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What helped me most is my sense of who I am. There\u2019s a saying \u201cI\u2019m better than the worst thing I\u2019ve done.\u201d My past doesn\u2019t define me. Whatever I\u2019ve done in my life, I don\u2019t have to be imprisoned by that forever. There <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">is<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> a way forward. Mind you, this is embracing the notion of perfect justice, which we don\u2019t have. From the very beginning of my contact with the system, I\u2019ve been committed to the idea that nobody can make me feel worse than I already feel about my crime. The system tends to beat folks up with guilt. This is the unique understanding I bring to my work here at this shelter.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019ve coached folks along the way on doing a personal inventory, identifying and embracing our responsibility, being clear on what IS our responsibility, because folks will throw everything at you and blame you for everything they can imagine. If you allow that to happen, you\u2019ll be so buried up under guilt that you may never be able to crawl out, right?<\/span><\/p><p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One thing I\u2019ve found throughout these stories was the presence of an accepting, kind person who helped. Anyone for you?<\/span><\/i><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I\u2019ve met a number of people along the way who received me on a human level in a way that made a difference. Those experiences confirmed my better instincts, hopes, aspirations, right? Mr. See was one of those people, Charles See at Community Reentry. From the moment we met, Mr. See has always embraced me. I \u201ccame back\u201d in 2007 and met Mr. See that same year. As we got to know each other, he began to call on me for certain things, to lend a voice that might be helpful.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">LMM\/Community Reentry was on the list of resources that were <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">supposedly<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> in place for someone like me, and that was one of my first stops. Because my issues were so profound, I got a lot of lip service and resources were so limited, right? No fault of LMM\u2019s or anyone else\u2019s \u2013 just resources were so limited at that time.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Still, on a human level, Mr. See made it clear he saw me for the person I am, for the person I strive to be, right? He went to extra effort to communicate that to me in many ways over the years. He was one of those lights I encountered.<\/span><\/p><h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Education<\/span><\/h3><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When I came back here I went to live with one of my brothers. My plan was to get back in school. I went to Cleveland State University, initially in the Information Systems program, masters level IT program. Mind you, while I was gone, PC\u2019s hadn\u2019t been invented and prisons wouldn\u2019t allow us to get online. But I studied about computers from books in prison. I worked my tail off in the IT program at CSU but it wasn\u2019t the best environment for someone like me, over my head. So, I left school to find a job.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Still positive\u2026still believing\u2026<\/span><\/h3><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">That\u2019s where the Pizza delivery episode entered my story. With no job, I began to volunteer more in a Re-entry program to help folks deal with some of this stuff. What else was there for me? I was pissed, but I never gave up hope. What choice do I have, right? Either I could be positive and try to roll forward, or I could say \u201cto hell with it\u201d and be the <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">animal<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> that you think I am. This is what happens by the way \u2013 I saw it in prison, I see it out here, I see it in the shelter. Folks who have been so beat down that they see no way out, so they just embrace it. I wasn\u2019t going to do that.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, I volunteered for a couple years, then I went back to get my Master in English at CSU. All the while, in my job search, I hit all of the programs. I\u2019m touching all the bases, doing all the right things. Eventually, I got my first job in 2012 at 2100.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">I immediately began to understand why I was led to the shelter; where I could be helpful, where I could work out some of my own demons associated with my own re-entry. I have this first-hand experience of <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">incapacity<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">&#8211; and I can transfer knowledge to all these people here at 2100 who need supportive services. I understood if folks don\u2019t get some real help, they virtually have no chance.<\/span><\/p><h3><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">One Loving Voice<\/span><\/h3><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Remember I said I\u2019m not blaming anybody but as an objective fact, I outgrew my supports as a young teen. I had a non-existent relationship with my father, didn\u2019t even phase me when he died. In a perfect world, I would have been embraced and wrapped and delivered in a pathway for success. Other people had been planning for their kids to go to college from the day they were born. Mama didn\u2019t finish high school. Later in life, she completed her GED, then completed a course that enabled her to get promoted from Nurse\u2019s Aide to Licensed Practical Nurse. Oh, she worked hard and did wonderful things, considering our circumstances.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">My mama told me that when she was a girl her aspiration was to be a phone operator or an airline stewardess. Those are the things you remember because they say so much about her innocent world when she was a kid. <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">(James tears up).\u00a0<\/span><\/i><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">So, I was gone for 30 years and I could count on one hand the number of times she missed coming to see me. When she passed, it was like the \u201cpassing of love,\u201d out of my life. I knew then I would never experience love like that again. That love was done. It\u2019s a hell of a realization. But I am who I am because I am my mother\u2019s son. She had a big heart, a compassionate woman, very strong.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Here at 2100, I made connections that became important to me and learned that some of the most helpful things we can do, all of us, is listening to folks. The other part is talking with them, giving them an opportunity to have a conversation about something that\u2019s real in their life that they may not be able to have with anybody else.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s important for me to feel like I\u2019m contributing for a better world. I feel like I stumbled into the right profession. I\u2019m blessed. I\u2019m grateful. In many ways, maybe I shouldn\u2019t be walking the planet. I\u2019ve survived 6 shots at one time that had 13 holes in my body at close range. I\u2019m blessed, I\u2019m grateful. I\u2019m not motivated by income. I am motivated by a sense of humanity.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>James talks about his coffee \u201cWild Mountain Blueberry.\u201d He chuckles, \u201cgot to see what this Blueberry Coffee is like.\u201d James [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":0,"parent":4732,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v22.5 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Portrait of Strength with James Walker - LMM<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"The Portraits of Strength gallery features LMM staff who have overcome challenges, now using them to help others. 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